


Shaded

by Itsmarvelous



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Bullying, Canon, Canon Compliant, Chwe Hansol | Vernon-centric, Cuddling & Snuggling, Face Punching, Gen, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Lee Chan | Dino-centric, Panic Attacks, Punching, Secrets, Sharing a Bed, Supportive Members, Swearing, maknaes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25086964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsmarvelous/pseuds/Itsmarvelous
Summary: Chan has been bullied since he was eight years old, but he's never told his members. He can handle this by himself. At least, he thought he could. This takes place pre-debut, when Chan is 15.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 168





	Shaded

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody! I hope you read the tags because somebody does get punched. I wouldn't want anyone to get caught off guard by the mention of blood. This is only my second time writing fan-fiction, so hopefully this is enough warning. It's not too graphic, just mentioned in the story. Thanks for reading my piece:)

Chan’s life was about as ordinary as any child who decided to dedicate their lives to music.

Being a trainee, he knew what he signed himself up for. The constant schedules, the hour long dance practices, vocal lessons that seemed to last forever. There were definitely going to be difficult times, but the possibility of becoming an idol -being able to perform every night to a stadium full of fans- outweighed any of the parts other people might find negative.

For Chan, the time he spent training with his future members was the highlight of his day. He assumes it would be like that even if his school life WAS completely ordinary, but that wasn’t exactly the case.

He had been dealing with the torment of kids in his grade for years. The group of teenagers in question had even been at the same elementary school as him. 

Their constant bullying was a reminder that school was most definitely not his favorite place.

Chan flew under the radar, not exactly one of the popular kids, but he had a few good friends. Being a trainee, he never had the opportunity to hang out with them after school, so even though he was close to them, he knew they were closer to each other.

His friend group helped, constantly telling the bullies to leave him alone, but it didn’t always work.

They’d find him when he was alone after class, or even coming out of the washroom during break. 

His bullies never hurt him physically, avoiding pushing and punching because that would make the school board actually do something. Instead they stuck to name calling and teasing.

It was nothing Chan couldn’t handle, so he kept it to himself. 

He never told his members about this side of his school life, knowing they had enough to worry about. He didn’t want to add to their stress, so he thought he would be able to deal with this on his own.

He was okay, he was handling it. 

At least, he thought he was.

His members were dancing in the practice room. It was almost eight o’clock on a school night, so Chan knew he’d only be allowed to stay with them for another two hours. Pledis had a curfew for all minors, so he was pretty used to heading home before his hyungs.

Their lineup had already been decided. So, they were busy preparing for their debut, knowing it would happen soon.

Chan was ready for it, performing was his dream. 

Their debut seemed out of reach, but at the same time just behind an unlocked door. He could feel the excitement in the air of their practice room, growing everyday they danced a little better.

They were all taking a water break, so Chan sat down against the wall and pulled out his bottle. He was thirsty after having danced for nearly three hours.

He had a pretty rough day at school. Most of the time his bullies are pretty subdued. They never seek him out, only tormenting him when the opportunity presents itself. 

Today was different though, they looked for him.

There were four of them, but only one instigator.

When they were in elementary school, it was just the leader, Jaebong, and his best friend Chiwoon. As soon as they moved into high school, Kitae and Junsu joined their group. Chan almost thinks his bullies became nastier the moment they all met.

Jaebong probably thinks of it as a game, an easy way to laugh after a long day of school. It was Chan’s life though, he didn’t deserve to have people bully him for no reason, no one did.

Chan must’ve looked like he was deep in thought because Jeonghan came and sat down beside him.

“Hey Channie, how are you feeling?”

Chan looked at him with blank eyes and a confused look on his face, probably having missed the question. Then it dawned on him almost as quickly, he answered.

“I’m good, are we starting again soon?”

“Yeah, in a minute.” 

Jeonghan stopped there, but didn’t seem like he was ready to let their conversation end. He started again, this time a little more serious.

“You know you can talk to me right? You seem to be deep in thought a lot lately. You don’t have to keep it all to yourself, we're a family now.”

Chan looked at him with a smile, “Yeah I know, I’m okay. You don’t have to worry.”

Jeonghan stood up, holding out his hand for Chan to grab and pulled the maknae to his feet.

“I’m one of the oldest here, it’s my job to worry about you kids.”

Chan laughed quietly, “Yeah, I guess it is.”

The two then returned to their spots in the beginning formation, noticing Soonyoung was anxious to turn the music on again.

The rest of their practice went smoothly, letting Chan be back home by 10:20.

Hansol, Dokyeom, Mingyu, Minghao and Seungkwan were also under curfew, so they joined Chan back at the dorm as well.

He hopped in the shower, knowing a line would start as soon as the rest of his hyungs got home, then finished up his homework as quickly as possible. 

Chan was finally able to get into bed at midnight, but he never actually fell asleep for another hour. 

His mind was busy with thoughts of his bullies, knowing he would have to face them again tomorrow.

Hansol and Chan both attend the same high school. To make things easier for them, their managers drive them to their campus every morning.

Their mornings usually consist of joking around, or anxiously cramming for a test they never had the chance to fully study for. 

Hansol was used to this routine, so he was a little surprised to see Chan climb into the van this morning and stare blankly out the window. 

“Are you tired or something?” He asked lightly, trying to brighten the mood.

“What? Oh yeah, I had trouble falling asleep last night.”

Chan then turned in his seat so that he was looking towards Hansol.

“Something on your mind?” Hansol asked.

“Just school, I have a test this afternoon. It’s kind of important, but I don’t know if I’m prepared for it.”

Hansol didn’t think Chan was telling the truth -not exactly lying- just avoiding sharing what was really bothering him. He didn’t want to question him so early in the morning though, so he let it slide. He decided he’d ask Chan again after school, maybe he’d get a better answer out of him then?

The rest of the car ride passed silently, only thanking their driver before leaving the van.

The two said goodbye to each other, then left for their first class.

Hansol was worried for his younger brother, it didn’t seem like anything too serious, but he also hasn’t been acting like himself lately. 

He decided after sitting down for his first block class that he’d find Chan at lunch time, maybe having lunch together would be a good idea?

Chan walked towards his Math class, knowing the route without really having to think about it. He made this walk everyday, so he was pretty accustomed to when to turn. Soon he was sitting at his desk, never having really made eye contact with anyone on the entire way here. 

He had an image to uphold now, so he plastered on a smile for the next couple hours. It never truly met his eyes, but it was better than having people asking questions or taking pictures. 

Lunch time came faster than Chan expected, leaving him excited and weary at the same time. Being out of class meant that this was the perfect time for Jaebong to pester him. 

He made his way to the cafeteria rather quickly, surprised to see Hansol waiting for him at the doors. Being in different grades, they never really saw each other at lunch time -or during the day for that matter. All of their classrooms and cafeteria’s were in different buildings. 

They were allowed to wander, but they mostly keep to their own buildings. This was their only chance to see their school friends, so Hansol and Chan mostly spent time together after school.

“Hey Hansol! What are you doing over here?” 

Chan asked with a smile, leaning in to hug him almost immediately.

“I wanted to have lunch with you today, unless you had other plans?”

“No, I’m free. Want to sit in the cafeteria, or on the lawn?”

“Can we go outside? It’s super sunny out right now.”

“Yeah! I was thinking the same thing.” Chan said with a smile.

The two continued on to the cafeteria, getting their food and then heading outside. They talked the whole way, laughing and telling stories about their mornings.

“And then my teacher,” said Hansol between breaths of laughter. “Bent down to pick up the eraser the kid behind me threw at her best friend, and someone pulled out this random whoopee cushion from their bag and it made the biggest fart noise ever. It was crazy, I was honestly so shocked because that class is usually like the picture perfect classroom. So when the teacher stood up and saw everyone red in the face from trying to hold in their laughter, she said -completely out of the blue- ‘It’s alright, I’ll let it slide this ONE time, but whoever used that cushion, I would like it on my desk.’ I swear everyone was more shocked at that reaction because when has no detention EVER happened when something like THAT happens in a classroom?”

By the end of his story, even though it was absolutely ridiculous, the two were laughing their asses off.

Chan was expecting today to be a complete disaster, but he was pleasantly surprised about how his day was turning out. He hasn’t even seen Jaebong at all today, so he felt completely comfortable sitting here beside Hansol, enjoying their lunch in the sunshine.

Sadly, this happy little bubble didn’t last a long time. Not even 15 minutes later, they had unexpected visitors at the end of their bench.

It was Jaebong and his friends.

Hansol was confused, having never seen these boys before at school, but when he looked over at Chan, he knew his friend recognized them.

Hansol wasn’t sure what to expect from this interaction, he’s never seen these guys in the pictures Chan has shared of his friends, but he definitely wasn’t prepared to hear them start talking to Chan in a way that made him furious.

They were making fun of him, then laughing. They thought this was funny, like some kind of game. Hansol knew he was going to step in, but before he did, he looked over at Chan.

His younger brother, usually so happy and energetic with their members, was looking back at Hansol like a deer caught in headlights.

He didn’t seem too concerned about what the bullies were saying, more so intrigued by Hansol’s reaction. He looked as if he dealt with this behavior everyday, but never shared this burden with anyone else, forcing him to carry it all by himself.

Hansol stood up, “If you four don’t leave him alone right now, you’re going to have a much bigger problem on your hands. Never speak to my brother like that again, or you will be sorry.”

Hansol sounded serious, but Chan knew that Jaebong didn’t feel threatened. 

Chan watched as Jaebong left with his friends, turning around the corner and laughing. He knew they would come back again tomorrow, but he turned to Hansol anyway.

“Thanks for saying something. It’s no big deal, they just tease me sometimes. I usually handle it by myself.”

Hansol sat back down on the bench, looking way more serious than before, “How long have they been bullying you Chan? Why have you never said anything, we could have helped you?”

“I didn’t want anyone to worry about me. I’m old enough to handle this myself, you guys shouldn’t have to deal with my problems.”

“Chan,” Hansol looked at him dead in the eye. “We want to care about you. We love you and we want you to be happy. If something like this was happening to another member wouldn’t you want to know?”

Chan looked down at the ground, then back up at Hansol.

“Yeah, I’d want to know.”

“So, will you tell someone?” Hansol asked, obviously wanting to persuade Chan into telling the rest of his members that he was getting bullied.

“I will if it gets any worse, but it’s not worth it to say anything now. It’s not like the school will do much about this anyways, they’ve never pushed me or anything like that.”

Chan looked at Hansol, waiting for him to say something.

“You promise?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

It was silent for a couple minutes. The only things they could hear were other students talking around the corner, and cars driving on the road. Then, Hansol started talking again.

“Have you ever tried to talk to the principal, or anybody?”

Chan thought for a moment, “I mean, I did when we were in elementary school. They never did anything though. They took Jaebong into the office and told him to stop teasing me, then turned a blind eye when they saw him do it again the next week.”

“Wait, did you say elementary school? Chan how long has this been going on?” Hansol looked at him desperately.

Chan stayed quiet for a moment, looking down at his lap while he rubbed his hands together nervously.

“Chan, please answer me.”

“Since I was eight.” he said softly.

“Oh my god, Chan. That isn’t okay, you know that right. Everything they say to you isn’t true.”

“Yeah, I know. I told you, you don’t have to worry about me, I’ve got this under control.”

Even though he said it so confidently, Hansol knew it wasn’t true. Chan was breaking inside. He just never thought it mattered enough for him to say anything. 

Hansol took one look at him, then pulled him into a hug.

“Tell me the next time this happens, and the time after that, and everything. Promise me. You don’t have to go through this alone anymore, even if you think you can.”

“Okay, I promise.”

Hansol might’ve felt tears pooling on the shoulder of his shirt, but he let Chan hide his face. 

They stayed like that, Hansol wrapping his arms around Chan, protected by the privacy of their park bench.

When the warning bell rang, Chan separated from this youngest hyung. Hansol gently wiped the rest of the tear tracks off his brother's face. He was worried about him.

“Can we talk more later tonight? We don’t have school tomorrow, so come to my room after practice?”

“Yeah, I’ll join you.” Chan said quietly.

The two then packed up their lunches and rushed off to class. The impact of what had just happened fresh in both their minds.

Chan stayed true to his words that night, he climbed into Hansol’s bed immediately after his shower. 

They had dance practice late that night, and vocal lessons before. Since there wasn’t any school the next morning, their curfew was pushed back until midnight. Because of that, it was nearly one in the morning when Chan crawled under the covers with Hansol. Both wearing their comfiest hoodies and sweatpants, just wanting to be warm.

The two shared beds like this all the time. Being the youngest, they understood each other best. In the early mornings, their hyungs would often find them cuddled together, sharing one blanket with no space between them. They had definitely become close during their early trainee days, that bond only becoming stronger when they learned they were meant to debut in the same group. 

Hansol was the first to talk, whispering so that he didn’t wake up Soonyoung and Seungkwan.

“You don’t have to say anything right now if you’re not ready, but you can if you want to.”

“Can we maybe just sleep, I didn’t fall asleep until late last night.”

Hansol agreed immediately, a lot had happened today. The most important being that Chan was now able to talk to Hansol about his situation at school. Even though he thought he could handle it on his own, it was pretty obvious to Hansol that he needed someone to lean on.

The two were found the next morning, woken up by Jeonghan. That was after their second oldest hyung snapped a picture of the maknaes entangled together, sharing a pillow and sound asleep.

Hansol tried to get Jaebong and his friends to stop, but every time he said something to them they’d laugh it off and continue. 

Trying to respect Chan’s wishes, he didn’t tell the members. He tried everything in his power to get Jaebong to stop, but nothing seemed to work. He even went to the principal to see if anything could be done. Without any physical proof, there wasn’t much they could do either. Hansol felt useless, so he did everything he could to be there for Chan. Always trying to make him feel better. 

It was scary to witness how fast Chan’s moods could change. When he was around his members, Chan would be laughing and playing along with whatever was happening, working as hard as everyone else to perfect their debut choreography. Everything changed when they were alone though. Chan would crawl into his bed sometimes, just needing to talk. Completely different mood compared to hours earlier. 

Holding back tears wouldn’t be the right thing to say, but definitely holding back emotions.

Hansol was glad that Chan trusted him enough to talk to him. It was hard to know that his youngest brother had been dealing with these impossible emotions all by himself. 

They go to the same school, how could he not have noticed sooner.? 

He asks himself that everyday. 

He wishes he could’ve done more, could DO more, but for now he’s doing the best he can.

The next couple weeks were easier on Chan, he felt a lot better after talking with Hansol. His friends at school always tried to help him, but Hansol was different. Hansol was family.

Jaebong was still messing with him everyday, but Chan didn’t feel as dejected about going to school every morning.

He still stood up for himself, trying to get Jaebong to stop, but nothing really worked. He was okay. Jaebong had never actually hurt him, so he’s fine, right? Everything will still be okay tomorrow, right?

Right?

That’s what he was thinking about while walking down one of the side staircases of his school. This one wasn’t busy because most students exited through the main staircase, but he was on the third floor for his last class of the day, so he always found it faster to leave through this staircase.

It was Friday, so he was moving pretty fast. He knew Hansol and their manager would be waiting for him in the van.

He stopped abruptly as soon as he hopped onto the second floor landing. 

Jaebong was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs.

He tried to leave through the door leading to the second floor, but Kitae showed himself on the other side of the glass. Looking up the stairs, Chan saw Chiwoon and Junsu. They must have been following him.

He was surrounded by Jaebong and his friends.

He tried to push open the door, figuring that would be the easiest way to escape. 

He needed to get out of here. This didn’t seem like a normal confrontation. They all seemed mad. Jaebong looked furious. He had to get out, NOW.

The door opened, but Kitae pushed him back through. Grabbing his arm and yanking him down the stairs.

Chiwoon and Junsu were right behind them.

Chan tried to get out of Kitae’s hold, but he couldn’t. 

Every step Kitae took was bringing them one step closer to Jaebong.

Chan nearly fell down the stairs, Kitae was pulling him so harshly. It took everything in him to stay standing. He knew he couldn’t fall down, that would give Jaebong an easier target.

He started yelling for help, screaming for anyone to come, but no one heard him. 

With one last pull from Kitae, Chan was on the bottom floor, standing right in front of Jaebong. 

He didn’t want to feel weak, so he stood up straight and stopped yelling.

“What do you want?” Chan asked.

“I got called to the principal's office today. They said someone accused me of bullying another student. Do you know anything about that?” 

Jaebong sounded angry.

“I didn’t say anything.”

Chan tried to talk confidently, he didn’t want to sound desperate. Not to Jaebong, never to Jaebong. 

“I find that hard to believe, you know, because you have before.”

“Yeah, so why would I ag-”

Chan never got to finish speaking. Before he knew it, his cheek was exploding with pain. He stumbled backwards from the force, then stood up straight. His right hand instinctively went to feel his left eye, checking for damages. When he looked at his hand again, there was blood on it.

Jaebong had punched him.

“I said, did you go to the principal?” Jaebong still sounded angry.

Chan didn’t think this was over yet.

“No.” Chan replied curtly.

He saw Jaebong’s arm move this time before he felt it. 

The punch landed on his ribs, knocking the wind out of him. Chan didn’t know what to do, what should he do? He couldn’t take Jaebong and all his friends in a fight, not only was he smaller than them, but he was also outnumbered.

He straightened his back. He didn’t want his bullies to see him hunched over in pain, so he fought the urge to curl into a ball, instead looking Jaebong straight in the eyes.

“I haven’t gone to the principal, and I’m not going to admit to something I didn’t do.”

Chan could feel the blood dripping down his face from the cut near his eye. He didn’t move to wipe it off though. He stayed put.

When Jaebong punched him once more, the wound on his face opened a little bit wider. Jaebong had punched him in nearly the exact same spot, leaving his cheek throbbing. 

Chan had never been hit before today, he can’t say it's something he would want to experience again. 

From behind him, still standing on the bottom stairs, Chan hears Chiwoon speak for the first time today.

“That’s enough Jaebong, he’s not going to tell you anything. If no one catches us, they won’t have any proof. There’s no cameras in this stairwell, so we should leave. NOW. Unless you want to get in trouble for real this time.”

The four of them leave, but not until Jaebong gives Chan one last nasty glare.

They exited through the side door, leaving Chan alone.

As soon as the door shuts, Chan doubles over. He’s in a lot of pain. The throbbing in his cheek is unlike anything he’s ever experienced before. His ribs don’t hurt as much, but he knows they're both going to leave an ugly bruise.

He takes a second to regain his composure, knowing he’ll have to sit in a van with Hansol and his manager all the way back to their dorm.

It’s Friday today, meaning there’s no school tomorrow. On Fridays, all the members meet at the dorm and have supper together before heading to the studio. It’s a weekly routine because their curfew is later, so Chan waits to clean up his face until he gets home. Maybe he'll be able to sneak into the bathroom without anyone noticing?

His bag had fallen to the floor sometime in the middle of everything. He crouches down beside it, unzips it quickly and pulls out the hat he keeps for bad hair days. It doesn’t do much to hide the blood, or the bruises he thinks have already started forming, but it’s the best he can do.

With his ball cap pulled as low as it can go, he stands up.

He walks towards the door and checks to make sure Jaebong and his friends are nowhere to be seen. When he’s sure the coast is clear, he opens the door and rushes towards their van. He never raises his head once, only looking at the ground.

He reaches the van that Hansol and their manager are occupying, knowing they’re probably wondering why he took so long to join them.

He mumbles when he gets in the car, “Sorry, the hallways were packed.”

He knows he doesn’t have to hide this from Hansol, but he’d rather deal with it when their manager wasn’t present. 

He’s glad Hansol was sitting on the passenger side because Chan was able to hide the left side of his face the entire car ride.

It wasn’t until after they got out of the van and said thanks to their manager that Hansol noticed his eye.

“Holy shit, what happened?” He looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

Their manager had already driven away, so Chan pulled Hansol inside their apartment building. 

They didn’t stop moving until they got in the elevator.

“Was it Jaebong?” Hansol asked, already knowing the answer.

Chan looked at him, he noticed the concern riddled on this hyungs face.

He nodded, and finally broke down.

He started crying, so Hansol pulled him into a hug. 

The elevator stopped, so Hansol guided them towards their dorm room and unlocked the door.

Chan was crying, more intense now, so Hansol knew he had to get him inside.

He unlocked the door and pulled him into the entryway. It was an awkward hug, but he wasn’t going to let go of Chan, not right now.

The kitchen that most of their members were standing in went silent. They watched as their two maknaes fumbled into the door, Hansol holding Chan and guiding him further inside. They didn’t know what had happened, not until they saw Chan’s face and jumped into action. 

Someone had hurt their maknae and they weren’t going to get away with it. 

They need to help Chan first though, so dealing with everything else would have to wait.

Jeonghan was the first to reach the duo in the entryway. He helped Chan take his shoes off, then looked to Hansol. 

“We need to take him to the bathroom, the first aid kit is in there.”

They try to maneuver their way down the hallway, but Chan is still crying in Hansol’s arms. Mingyu walks up to the duo and Hansol knows what he’s planning, so he tries to turn Chan around so that Mingyu can pick him up. Chan agrees without hesitation, so Mingyu picks him up with one arm under his knees, and the other supporting his back.

Chan tries to hide his face in Mingyu’s chest, but his eye still hurts, so he curls into Mingyu instead.

They make it to the bathroom, but before they can do anything, they need to calm Chan down. 

He seems like he’s on the verge of a panic attack, so Mingyu sets him down on the bathroom counter, letting only Hansol in the room before closing the door.

They start talking to Chan softly, then Hansol starts counting.

“Hey Chan, I know you’re probably really scared right now, but we really need to focus on your breathing, okay? Can you do that with me? Listen to my breathing and follow along.”

Chan nods, the crying has turned into hyperventilating, so Hansol starts counting.

“Okay, we’re going to breath in for four, hold for four, then out for four. Yeah? Good job, you’re doing so good.” 

Hansol repeats himself over and over, as many times as Chan needs.

Chan starts to follow along to Hansol’s breathing after about ten minutes. His breath became more regular, and his crying turned into stray tears.

“Can I hold your hands?” Hansol asks.

Chan nods, then Hansol reaches for his hands gently. 

Mingyu watches as Hansol places his thumbs on the backs of Chan’s hands, moving them in calming circles. Mingyu steps forward too and places a hand on Chan’s back, asking if it’s alright to open the door.

When Chan nods, Mingyu reaches for the door handle and lets the others in.

All the members were sitting on the floor outside the bathroom door, waiting patiently for Chan to feel better. They knew joining them in the room would overwhelm their maknae, so they waited outside.

When they heard Mingyu opening the door, they jumped to their feet. They didn’t want to swarm him yet though, so Jeonghan poked his head through the bathroom door and asked who he wanted to help clean his cuts.

Chan asked softly, “Can you do it?”

Jeonghan nodded immediately and walked into the bathroom.

“Do you want the others to wait in the living room?”

“Yeah.”

Hansol and Mingyu stayed with Jeonghan and Chan, not wanting to leave his side just yet.

The rest of Seventeen went into the living room and waited patiently. They didn’t really know how to react. Their youngest brother had gotten punched, how do you deal with something like that?

Jeonghan got to work cleaning Chan’s face. The cut had left dried blood all the way down his cheek, so he cleaned very gently. It seemed to have stopped bleeding for now, so he didn’t want it to open again.

Chan was still sitting on the bathroom counter, not having moved since Mingyu set him down nearly twenty minutes ago.

Jeonghan disinfected Chan’s cut, wanting it to heal as healthy as possible. Then gently placed a butterfly bandage, trying to stop it from opening again.

Then came the question Jeonghan was dreading.

“Did they hit you anywhere else?”

“He punched me in the stomach, but I don’t think it drew blood.”

“Can I see.” Jeonghan asked, unsure if he really wanted to look, but knowing he had to.

Chan pulled up his shirt and the three in the room were shocked.

“This happened today?” Jeonghan asked.

‘Yeah, why?”

“It’s bruising really fast.”

Chan got off the counter and turned around so that he could look in the mirror.

The bruise was forming on his left rib. It was about the size of a fist, and was already turning dark purple. A light shade of yellow surrounding it.

“Holy shit, he really got me good.”

He looked back at his three hyungs, he could see the concern on their faces.

“I’m ready to go to the living room, I’m sure everyone has questions.”

It didn’t take long for everyone to settle down on the couches, all eyes focused on Chan.

Wonwoo had handed him an ice pack as soon as he sat down. Everyone watched as their maknae pressed the pack gently to his left cheek, not wanting to put too much pressure on his fresh wound.

His cheek was already turning a deep shade of purple. It didn’t take a doctor to know that when he woke up he’d have a nasty black eye. 

They sat in silence for a moment, Chan visibly trying to start talking, but lost for words.

“Do you want us to ask you questions, or do you want to start on your own?” Asked Seungcheol. 

Everyone just wanted to make this easier for Chan, but they didn’t know how.

“Can you ask questions, I think that might be easier.” Said Chan.

“Who did this to you?” Asked Jihoon, from the floor in front of Chan.

“Jaebong. He’s a kid at school.”

“Chan, you know there’s more to say about him though.” 

Only the people close to Chan could hear Hansol whisper this in his ear.

“Yeah, I know.” He looked at Hansol for a second, then continued talking.

“I’ve been getting bullied by Jaebong and his three other friends. This has been going on since I was eight, but it’s never been like this before. I didn’t want to worry you guys because they were just calling me names and stuff, I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

He watched as his member’s faces changed emotions. 

“Chan, you could’ve told us, we could have helped you.” Said Seungcheol.

Chan watched as all of his members nodded in agreement with their leader, he replied softly.

“Hansol knew.”

They all looked towards the second youngest member.

“I was having lunch with him one day when Jaebong and his friends showed up. I’ve been trying to get them to stop since, but they never listened. I wanted to tell you guys, but Chan asked me not to. I made him promise to talk to me about everything though, especially if it got worse.”

“You can’t get mad at him for not telling you. He’s helped me a lot these past couple months and it was my choice to keep this from everyone, not his.” 

Chan said this sternly. Nobody questioned him, knowing that Hansol was doing his best in a difficult situation.

“Can I ask you something?”

Chan turned to face Joshua, having heard his question and nodded.

“What changed today?”

“Well, it started out pretty average. I actually hadn’t seen Jaebong or any of his friends all day. That didn’t last though,” he said with a humorless laugh. “I was coming down the side stairway, it’s almost always empty and way faster than the main stairwell. I’m up on the third floor, so I can't see the ground floor when I’m coming down, then the next thing I know, when I’m on the second floor landing, I see Jaebong standing on the main level. I tried to leave through the second floor doors, but Kitae, one of his friends was blocking the way. I tried to turn around and go back upstairs, but Chiwoon and Junsu had followed me.”

Chan continues to recount the event, stopping when Jeonghan asks.

“Can we see your arms where Kitae grabbed you, I just want to see if it's bruised too?”

Since Chan was wearing a buttoned up long sleeve -his school uniform- the easiest way for him to show them his bicep was by taking off his shirt.

When he unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, everyone gaped at the bruise on his ribs. This was the first time most of them had seen it.

Just like Jeonghan thought. Chan’s bicep was plastered with a bruise in the shape of a hand. It wasn’t as dark as his other bruises, but it was still noticeable.

Chan put his shirt back on, then continued telling his members what happened.

When Chan says, “Jaebong kept asking me if I’d gone to the office. If I’d told them that he was bullying me. I said no though, because I didn’t. That’s why he was punching me. He wanted to know if I was the reason he was called to the principal, then he kept punching me because he thought I was lying.”

Chan stopped talking when he heard Hansol whisper, “Oh my God, it’s my fault. This is all my fault.”

“Hey, no it’s not! Why would this ever be your fault?” Said Chan desperately, wanting his best friend to stop blaming himself for something he didn’t have any control over.

“It is though.” Said Hansol rather loudly. He looked like he was about to cry, but he continued talking.

“I went to the office. That was ME. I thought they might be able to do something, but they said without any physical proof there was nothing they could do. I’m so sorry Chan, this is my fault. I never thought this would have happened.”

Hansol started crying, but Chan spoke up immediately.

“Hansol, please listen to me.” Chan took both of Hansol’s hands, then continued talking. “This is NOT your fault. You were only trying to help me and I thank you for that. I never had any reason to fear this kind of reaction out of Jaebong, so how were either of us supposed to know that this would happen. I don’t blame you for going to the principal's office, and I never will either. You were only trying to help, so please stop thinking that you made this happen. It wasn’t you. You hear that? It WASN’T you, okay? Please don’t ever think that again.”

When Chan was done talking, he pulled Hansol into a hug. 

The amount of times Hansol had stopped him from breaking down these past couple months, he thought the least he could do would be to return the favor, so he held on tight until Hansol was done crying.

After a few minutes, Hansol had calmed down. 

Chan turned back towards the rest of the members, but kept holding one of Hansol’s hands. He finished telling everyone what happened.

By the time he was done talking, it would’ve been time for everyone to start heading to dance practice, but that was at the back of everyone’s mind right now.

The most pressing question that most of them were thinking was voiced by Hansol.

“What do we do now?”

Everyone thought for a second, then Seungcheol spoke up.

“We need to tell the school first thing Monday morning, but I think we should tell the managers tonight. One of them should be here any minute to pick us up for practice, but we’ll tell them to come upstairs instead. Is that alright with you?”

The last question was directed at Chan, who nodded.

When their manager walked into their dorm, he was definitely not expecting to see Chan covered with bruises.

Their manager joined them in the living room, listening to what happened. Chan also showed him the bruises on his ribs and arms, making their manager’s face go pale.

“You should take pictures of the bruises today, and tomorrow. This will act as physical proof if anything starts to fade before Monday morning. I also think we might have to call the police. I’ll talk with the other managers about this tonight, we’ll decide what the best actions will be in the next couple days. You will all have a say in the final decision, but we can take care of the rest.”

He looked at the members, saying one last thing before he left.

“I think this goes without saying, but you guys have the rest of the night off.”

With that he left their dorm.

On Monday morning, Chan went straight to the principal's office when he entered his school. He wasn’t alone though. Hansol and Seungcheol were right beside him, and their manager was walking behind them. 

Their managers had decided to call the police, asking them to attend their school meeting Monday morning. Ensuring that their school would react appropriately, and that any other consequences would be dealt with immediately.

When they walked into the office twenty minutes after school started, trying to avoid the crowds and questions about Chan’s black eye, they were glad to see that Jaebong and his friends had already been called to the office. The police were also already present.

Their managers must have called the school over the weekend to inform the office that this would be happening.

When everyone was accounted for, their principal called them into his office and Chan started talking.

They had physical proof, there was no way Jaebong could get away with it this time.

The month following the ‘incident,’ as Chan gracefully calls it, passes pretty fast.

Jaebong and all of his friends had gotten expelled, meaning Chan would never have to see any of them in school ever again. 

Jaebong also had to deal with whatever consequences came from the police. Since they were all minors, the assault wouldn’t go on his permanent record, but that didn't stop him from getting months of community service and other restrictions.

Thankfully, Chan could finally say that school was starting to become a positive experience again. Even only a month after everything happened, his school days were feeling brighter.

Going to dance practice and being with his members was no longer a way for Chan to escape from the darkness of school, it was just simply the place where he felt happiest.

His bruises had also almost completely healed too, the only thing visible was the remnants of fading yellow on his ribs. His eye had healed nicely, the broken skin leaving no trace of ever being there in the first place.

Chan was finally happy. Since he was eight, this is the first time his days have not been clouded by the presence of bullies. It was almost as if a new chapter had started for him.

It seems that he’s spent a long portion of his life hiding behind plastered smiles and hollow laughter, never knowing the true joys that could be experienced when he stopped pretending he was okay.

He’s okay now though, he’s more than okay. He can see that while looking at the twelve brothers by his side.


End file.
